My husband’s vasectomy made me feel empowered TW: I have to start this with a trigger warning because it contains horrific details of obstetric violence, painful accounts of the abuse women go through, and birthing rape. In 2018, my husband and I decided that we were done with making babies. After three stays at the NICU totalling 3 months, three prem babies, preeclampsia, Tetralogy of Fallot, a placential abruptia and placential accreta, and child loss, we had to be. I couldn’t put my babies, my husband, my family, and myself through that trauma again. On the day that Ila (our youngest) was born, my poor sister, who had her driver’s licence for all of 4 days, had to manouevre through traffic to pick up our eldest child, Lily, all while my mom stayed on the line to ensure that I wouldn’t pass out from blood loss. So. we. were. done. We chatted to my gynae about possible contraceptive methods – the Mirena, the pill, a hysterectomy. At the time, I didn’t know that I had endometri
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What the F is up with that second year of marriage?
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I have to preface this by saying that I am in no way a marriage expert. Not even close. The only advantage, I guess, that Will and I have as a couple is that we’ve known each other for 16 years, so there are a few things that we’ve learned. And we’re still learning! Every day. The past few months in lockdown have been so great that it made we wonder why we ever disagreed in the past. So I did a little mental digging and asked myself, “Seriously... what the F was up with that second year of marriage? And why is no one speaking about it?” In November, Will and I will be married for 9 years. I always joke with him and subtract a year because that second year… Yor, ku rough! There’s no other way to describe it. Granted we had gone through a year of loss, surgery, trauma and NICU visits that I wholeheartedly hope not many couples have gone through, but upon reflection and chatting to a few friends, there were some similarities that most couples do share. For so long, I felt as i
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HOW TO ADULT… HARD How would you like to live bond free for 13 years? Or save WELL over a million in compound interest? It’s possible if you’re a little wiser and more disciplined. I’m sure most people know this but for the rest of you who are like us can I get a, “Hell’s yeah?” Recently, Will and I spent a delightful evening with his cousin and his wife, and amongst the gin, hilarious tales of their shenanigans as kids and the most delicious food, we learned how to adult… HARD. As you get older, #marriageporn shifts from spontaneous trysts to coming in under budget on your Christmas shopping. In fact, the day Will was sexiest for me was when he found a 3-kg washing powder for the price of a 2-kg. Karolina and Dyllan are the shorter and taller version of us, more attractive and way more responsible. We’re the funhouse version of them – wobbly in our views, with no focus. And during our chats, including finding an article on shortening your bond term,